Self-reliance is like a plant. It needs just the right amount of the right things to grow and prosper.

Teaching a child to be independent is a tough challenge, because it means having to reconsider your own role as a parent. As your child is born, it needs constant care and attention. As you care for this little thing you brought into the world, your love for it becomes boundless. You will do anything to keep it safe.

But there comes a point where you have to start letting go. And this happens fast. Certainly faster than I’d imagined. You child starts walking, talking, having proper opinions and preferences. They start exploring. And it’s your job to let them do that. In that process, the line between protecting and overbearing becomes harder to see.

If you have a partner, listen to them. If they’re telling you to let your child go, trust their judgement. In that moment, you were letting your desire to protect the child overcome their need for independence.

Watching your child become independent is bitter-sweet: you’ll long for the time where they had to be held, fed, cared for. Why is that, when that was the most trying, stressful, physically and emotionally draining time of your life? Because it was also the time when you felt the most pure, unconditional love towards someone. That love doesn’t fade, but it becomes more mature and nuanced over time.